Broadway Bound

Zombie Memorial Players production “Romeo and Juliet at Zombie High School”, has drawn interest from two important Broadway production companies.

The 20 minute musical comedy will be repeated every half hour from 6:30 to 9:30PM, Halloween night only.

An expanded version of the play is being considered for an off-Broadway tryout. Those in the know tell us that this could be the next big show, “Zombies on Broadway.”

This Halloween night may be your only chance to see the original.  Better yet, this special family show is free, no tickets needed.  The show is rated F.N.G., Funny Not Gory.  Join us at the Sierra Madre Playhouse for brain-tingling excitement!

Disclaimer: Without direct contact from New York, the officials at the playhouse cannot confirm the above story, but it can’t help but confirm that the theater’s new commitment to the highest quality, American plays has made the Sierra Madre Playhouse, pound for pound, the best theater in Los Angeles.

Money Back Guarantee

ABC news reporter, Skippy Delite, reported that the Sierra Madre Theater offers money back guarantee on their Halloween show, “Celebrity Zombies Save America.”  This is the funniest, scariest, family-friendly show you’ve ever seen.

Since there is no charge for admission their money back guarantee seems ludicrous.  When I confronted the producer with this observation, he replied, “all this technical stuff gives me a headache.  I’m trying to save America and you’re worried about wordplay.”

I replied, “well then, why don’t you offer double your money back!”

–Your Reporter

Police Protection League Wants National Guard Called In

Ann Savage, spokesperson for the Sierra Madre Police Protection League, today asked the Sierra Madre City Council to call in the National Guard to supplement our police force on Halloween night.  “There is no way our police department can defend our town from a bus load of flesh eating zombies,” she said.

Warden G, from the Zombie Correctional Institution, told the city council that he was providing 25 specially trained guards to police the Halloween show.  “Celebrity Zombies Save America” will feature actual zombies from his institution.  “My guards know how to handle these creatures.  It’s their job 24 hours a day.  I can guarantee you that there will be no problem from my inmates.  No Sierra Madre police officers will be needed at the Sierra Madre Playhouse on Halloween night.”

The council agreed that no extraordinary measures were needed for the Sierra Madre Playhouse show, “Celebrity Zombies Save America”, on Halloween night.